Often, people who have not yet mastered assertiveness techniques employ primitive defense mechanisms to deal with difficult situations. “Flee”, “attack”, “manipulate” and “prevent” are reactions that are activated by our subconscious with a defensive intent.
What are the consequences of each attitude?
Fleeing (sub-assertive attitude ) is an avoidance behavior towards the situation that causes stress.
The consequences are:
- grudge;
- resentment;
- waste of energy;
- loss of face, decreased self-esteem;
- Anxiety and Insomnia;
- leading to passivity and withdrawal.
Attacking is an aggressive attitude towards others with the aim of subjugating, breaking, obliging in order to avoid sanction.
The consequences are:
- rejected by the group;
- counterattack;
- energy loss;
- revenge, blows below the belt;
- false sense of power.
Manipulating is a deceptive attitude of lies, masks and tricks. It is difficult to recognize because it can take many forms.
The consequences are:
- risk;
- rejection;
- anxiety and feelings of nervousness;
- guilt feelings;
- waste of energy;
Assertiveness is defined as self-expression by which each individual claims his fundamental rights without infringing those of others.
Assertiveness means that every person has fundamental rights, that these rights should be respected and that assertive behavior can be learned.
